There is such a great sense of urgency and agitation within me at the moment. It feels like a two headed monster. The one is an authentic desire to help people. The other is an ego led need to be ahead of others. A fear of missing out or missing the ‘Mindfulness bus’. Continue reading “Agitation”
I thought writing a blog would be easy. I have so many ongoing conversations in my head! But actually putting them down into some sort of form is terrifying. It feels as though it might solidify my thoughts and feelings and I don’t want that.
As a Yoga teacher one of the most common things I hear is – “I can’t do Yoga. I’m not flexible enough,” or people asking for forgiveness because they can’t touch their toes.
This is, in my opinion, one of the greatest myths about Yoga today. You do not have to touch your toes or put your feet behind your head to practice Yoga.
The postural, or asana, practice that we are exposed to in the gym or even the Yoga studio is only one small part of Yoga. There are eight limbs of yoga and assana is only one of them. Even when we come to practice these poses it is not important how deep you can go into the pose or how strong or steady you are.
In my opinion Yoga postures are used primarily to help us feel. To help us connect with our bodies. To help us become embodied. Continue reading “Power Up Your Yoga”
It is fast approaching the end of 2016, and so much has changed in my life! I have a beautiful little boy called Thomas who is almost 18 months old already. It’s true – he has been the birth of all the changes and while I do miss my previous life, this new, evolved life is incredible.
Becoming a mother has been the most challenging thing in my life. It requires surrendering the person you think you are before baby, and, in my opinion, choosing to become the person your child wills you to be.
I have struggled. I have really struggled to be patient, to be kind, and to be mindful! As a Mindfulness facilitator and coach, as well as Yoga teacher I feel a huge responsibility to ‘live my practice’. It is so important to me to be kind and patient. So when I find myself lashing out at my (ever supportive and loving) husband Matt; or feeling so full of rage when Thomas is fighting to go to sleep, the guilt sets in.
In Buddhism they speak of the second arrow. That feeling that comes out of a feeling. In mindfulness we use the acronym HIFAWIF to investigate this. How do I Feel About What I’m Feeling. When I ask myself this – GUILT is the answer. And then I repeat using Guilt and the answer is RAGE. And I repeat AGAIN and the answer is GUILT! Stuck in a washing machine.
So to break down my own feelings:
Primary feeling: Anger directed at husband or child
HIFAWIF – Guilt
HIFAWIF – rage
HIFAWIF – guilt
HIFAWIF – more rage!
And as I continue in this way something incredible is revealed. That rage becomes fear, and it’s a fear of failure. It’s a fear of not being good enough. Not doing justice to my family.
The reality is that we cannot be perfect all the time. Some days are better than others. When I found myself having more bad days than good I opted to seek medical help and chose to use anti-depressants for a period. You can read more about this in up-coming posts.
One thing my exploration with Mindfulness has taught me is to remember to be kind to MYSELF. Learning to acknowledge and allow the feelings with which I struggle (rage, guilt, fear) to be felt is, for me, the first step.
And so it is that we begin to evolve in our practice of life – one step a time.